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Morrissey the miniseries – misery in bitesize chunks part thirteen

morrissey-autobiography

It’s nearly over now.  This is the penultimate chunk of Mozzer misery, it’s Part Thirteen:

The Outside and the Inside and the Secret of Fear of the Secret  –  Morrissey is playing the Montreux Festival in Switzerland but he can’t relax because his hair is too long; the show is the best ever.  In Oslo Morrissey annoys everyone by singing some A-ha.  Morrissey goes on about how his audience is getting younger and how he is getting older.  Morrissey catches a glimpse of himself in a camera lens and thinks he’s getting fat.  Every day is like Thursday.  Still, that means it’s nearly the weekend, eh, and a chip supper on Friday?  Even so, everybody loves Morrissey all over the world as the sold-out arenas and insane audience reactions show.  The NME (yes, even the NME love Morrissey for now!) ask Morrissey to compile a CD for them and then they go and spoil it all by doing something stupid like adding 4 additional tracks by newer bands that Morrissey doesn’t like.  Ron Mael writes to Morrissey and tells him he’s “such an inspiration” and Julian from The Strokes writes to Morrissey to tell him he never called him “a faggot” in the NME.  Not everything ends in misery in the Morrissey miniseries, Morrissey manages to look after a baby bird until it can fly back to join its parents; it doesn’t die, people, it doesn’t die.  The gigs continue, the love continues – Morrissey gets love from thousands, in the same room at the same time.  A lady backstage at Lowell may or may not have killed a baby, she is accompanied by the police and awaiting trial; so that’s how you get to meet Morrissey!  Morrissey’s humour does not go down well in Buffalo.  Every single person at Fresno has a Morrissey tattoo.  Tony Wilson (who looks just like Jerry Springer) has never had a good idea ever and as if to prove it he suggests to Morrissey that he should call his next album Steven.  Morrissey recalls Alain, who left the band in a huff, and remembers that Alain believed him when he said Rome was actually built in a day and that Alain used to put hair gel on before going to bed.  Just as well Alain left the band really, isn’t it?  Ringleader of the Tormentors is recorded in Rome.  In Rome the police men are nice – according to Morrissey.  Ennio Morricone turned down U2 and David Bowie when they asked him to collaborate, but he agrees to work with Morrissey.  Morricone blanks Tony Visconti but Tony don’t care.  Morrissey has been living at the Hotel de Russie in Rome for a year, after meeting an Italian boy (named as Gelato) at Dublin airport.  Gelato doesn’t sell ice creams – he runs a wine shop and teaches youth soccer.  Morrissey looks into buying a place in Rome.  Tony Visconti shows Morrissey a film of a singer called Kristeen Young and he falls in love with her; they become friends and a couple of years later Lady Gaga rips off her outfits.  Elton John is described as ‘shockingly down-to-earth’, but it is Morrissey describing him and not a normal person; in return Elton John describes David Bowie as ‘a vampire’, but it is Elton John describing him and not a normal person.  Ringleader of the Tormentors is number 1 in the UK but radio DJs in England will not play Morrissey – still, who needs ’em, eh?  Morrissey turns down a special NME award and as a result they write a nasty story about him – it’s all starting again!  Morrissey fights the NME for over four years and they finally apologise.  Bastards.  Despite the sold-out shows, Morrissey still questions the love – why do they love him?  Yes, why?  In Birmingham, Alabama Morrissey learns not to fear dentists. 

Just one more part to go and then the misery ends…

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About tinynoggin

I love films (anything from exploitation stuff to stylish Eastern European cinema, but I'm not really into blockbusters and modern Hollywood), music (Serge Gainsbourg, Jane Birkin, Michel Polnareff, Left Banke, Francoise Hardy, The Seeds, Love, The Zombies, etc) and books (Kurt Vonnegut, Julian Maclaren-Ross, Michel Houellebecq, Patrick Hamilton, Alan Sillitoe, and more). I take photographs with my Lomography Diana F plus or my Olympus Trip and like making stuff in my spare time.

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