O God! O God! It’s the court case!!! I’ll try to make it as painless as I can, okay? Part Ten.
Loneliness Tears Cracks of Madness Even in Walls: Morrissey calls Charles Hawtrey to ask him to be in a Morrissey music video but Hawtrey is so bored of Morrissey he puts the ’phone down. Then, yes, you’ve guessed it, Charles Hawtrey dies. Morrissey’s dad tells him that he’s obsessed with the dead – and he was not wrong, because at that Morrissey heads off to Charles Hawtrey’s house on Middle Street in Deal to inspect it. He finds pubic hair in one of the sinks. Dead man pubic hair, but it’s Charles Hawtrey dead man pubic hair nonetheless! Joan Sims was in the video for Ouija Board and she told Tim Broad that Nicholas Parsons was a c**t. Tracey Thorn criticises Morrissey for singing about wheelchair people but Morrissey doesn’t wait around on her advice. Mike Joyce has spent all his money so he’s back on the case again for his 25%, despite the fact that he is just “wrong” to do this, he persists anyway. Sigh! Morrissey has bad representation, so that does not bode well. Mike Joyce changes his statements every five minutes – it’s all so very tiresome. The judge John Weeks is very well-to-do, don’t you know? Morrissey’s solicitor does a disappearing act and then his barrister steps down. It’s turning into a farce. Joyce, Rourke and Marr are all sat together and Morrissey is sat all alone – black despair! Mike Joyce “just assumed” a lot and Morrissey was sold down the river, but obviously Joyce got 25% out of that as well. Mike Joyce’s barrister has enormous teeth and purple boils on his neck. John Weeks dismisses any evidence against Joyce, because he can. Whatever Morrissey does or says aggravates the judge and the barristers. Morrissey is described as ‘devious, truculent and unreliable’ and the chubby drummer gets his 25%.