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Morrissey the miniseries – misery in bitesize chunks part eleven

morrissey-autobiography

It’s getting all miserable again now – sorry about that.  Here’s Part Eleven:

Knowledge is Power and the Early Bird Catches the Worm – Morrissey gives a page-by-page blow-by-blow account of what was wrong with John Weeks’ judgement – let’s fast forward that bit as it’s going over the same old ground, again and again… But, woe is me!, Morrissey decides to appeal against the verdict and looks for new evidence.  He rushes a parcel over to his barrister:  a VHS tape of Mike Joyce admitting there was not an agreement to get a 25% split, a clip taken from a documentary about The Smiths.   Morrissey does not hear from his barrister or solicitor before the case and demands acknowledgement of receipt of the VHS tape – as a result the solicitor resigns.  Other evidence is provided of the 10% agreement but Lord Waller, the appeal judge, falls asleep during the hearing.  The appeal is thrown out.  Morrissey thinks his barrister did not want to “rock the boat” in order to protect a possible promotion and so he wouldn’t show the VHS tape, which obviously would have won him the case.  The Smiths are dead.  Morrissey gets a good deal with Mercury Records and records Maladjusted.  He’s represented by Vicki Wickham but she’s rubbish so he pays her off £80,000 and they part the ways.  Let’s hope she won’t come back asking for 25%!    Joyce tries to get his 25% in cash now – and sends people over to Morrissey’s mother’s house perhaps thinking the house was bought in Morrissey’s name.  Her cat has been covered in paint and nearly dies; TRUCULENT is painted in six foot high letters on the front of the house; eggs are thrown at her windows.  Then Joyce discovers the house is not Morrissey’s and he changes tack and tries to claim Morrissey’s sister’s house instead but yet again it is not Morrissey’s… The legal bills add up as Morrissey must defend himself and his family against Joyce and his 25%.  Joyce gets his money from the Smiths recordings royalties in the end – approximately £3M.  Morrissey says it is virtually impossible to find any legal professional who will represent him against Joyce.  Aside from the financial blow, Morrissey seems to be most concerned about the personality assessment made by John Weeks.  Let it go, Morrissey, it’s not worth the energy and, anyway, as Michael Stipe said (and he should know, obviously), John Weeks is “a f***head”.  Mike Joyce writes to Morrissey many years later saying, “I know you must hate me”.  That’s the understatement of the century!  It doesn’t look like a Smiths reunion is on the cards.  Morrissey leaves England and moves to 1498 North Sweetzer Avenue, Los Angeles.  Johnny Depp lives next door but he looks away whenever Morrissey appears (maybe he heard what John Weeks had to say about him?), until Morrissey moves out and then he buys the house as an annex to his house.  Life in 1498 North Sweetzer Avenue, Los Angeles is not much better than the court case story – Morrissey’s car is stolen, the replacement car is dented by heavy kicks, desert rats run across the roof of the house at night.  But life must go on and Morrissey receives offers from both Eastenders and Emmerdale to appear as characters in the shows (Morrissey as Dot Cotton’s long-lost son!) – he refuses, of course.  In July 1998 the Guardian runs a two-page article about Morrissey’s decline and they illustrate it with a photograph of Edwyn Collins, ha!  Uncut and Mojo also have reports of Morrissey’s decline but hopefully they didn’t use photos of Edwyn Collins like what the Guardian did.  Morrissey meets Tina Dehghani and he feels a (vague) “commitment” to her – they even discuss having a child together, but clearly decide against it.  It’s all looking rosy though and then September 11th ruins everything and Morrissey starts rattling on about Bush and Blair and “the war against terror”.  Morrissey goes to see Al Martino in concert and is very impressed – he asks for an autograph and gets one but Al Martino doesn’t speak to Morrissey as he’s more interested in a woman standing a few yards away, what a knobber, eh?  Channel 4 want to make a documentary and say Morrissey has total control but then they try to shaft him so he goes into yet another legal battle and gets his own way.  Kirsty MacColl, one of Morrissey’s good friends, calls and asks Morrissey if she should go to Cancun for her holiday; Morrissey urges her to do so – she goes there and dies, her body smashed to pieces in the sea by an out-of-control speedboat.  Remind me not to ask Morrissey for holiday recommendations…  Merck Mercuriadis wants Morrissey to sign to his label Sanctuary but Morrissey doesn’t like the name Sanctuary, so Merck offers him the Attack label and Morrissey signs on the dotted line immediately.  More deaths before the end of this part, I’m afraid:  Morrissey’s 29 year old cousin Matthew dies, then aunt Rita dies of cancer aged 48.  We’re never allowed to be happy for very long. are we?

Only three more parts to go now…

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About tinynoggin

I love films (anything from exploitation stuff to stylish Eastern European cinema, but I'm not really into blockbusters and modern Hollywood), music (Serge Gainsbourg, Jane Birkin, Michel Polnareff, Left Banke, Francoise Hardy, The Seeds, Love, The Zombies, etc) and books (Kurt Vonnegut, Julian Maclaren-Ross, Michel Houellebecq, Patrick Hamilton, Alan Sillitoe, and more). I take photographs with my Lomography Diana F plus or my Olympus Trip and like making stuff in my spare time.

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