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Morrissey the miniseries – misery in bitesize chunks part six

Following on from parts one to four and part five, here is part six of the Morrissey miniseries:


6: Love Has Its Price  Morrissey meets Sandie Shaw and she makes him toast; in return Morrissey lends her his band and Hand in Glove.  Morrissey is not allowed to go to Germany for the TV show they’ve been asked to be on as he’s not singing on the single and Sandie thinks number 27 in the charts is not good enough for her; all of this even though the slice of toast she gave Morrissey was cold, small and not even on a plate.  What a bitch, eh?  Morrissey’s flat in Kensington is haunted.  Sandie Shaw has to climb onto a narrow window ledge and peer through the window at Morrissey to get him to let her in since the number 27 incident. Morrissey is contacted by the families of the victims of the Moors Murderers.  Morrissey moans about the music business, betrayal and being ripped off.   Morrissey begs people to kill him when The Smiths’ album is released in Japan with Sandie Shaw’s track as a bonus.  There’s no glamour at the Algonquin hotel as Morrissey discovers – just enormous cockroaches – and then he falls off the stage at the Danceteria; no one cares and the show must go on.  Mike has caught Lebanese warts from a one night stand so the shows have to be cancelled but they can’t travel home until the warts have cleared up. Nobody wants to play with Morrissey in the meantime and it looks like The Smiths are no more.  After a few weeks it’s all back on although Morrissey realises he’s hard to get on with.  Diana Dors dies.  Meat is Murder enters the UK charts at number 1, probably because it wasn’t produced by John Porter.  To celebrate Geoff Travis gives Morrissey a bag of biscuits which cost £2.75.  Morrissey goes on and on about animal abuse.  Noddy Holder and Steve Harley hate The Smiths.  Morrissey is living at 66 Cadogan Square.  Geoff Travis doesn’t think Hatful of Hollow counts as an album and falls out with Morrissey over this; it’s becoming legal now.  Morrissey is fuming when newspapers report he has apologised to the Queen for The Queen is Dead album; he’s also fuming that he calls Thatcher Thatcher but journalists always change it to Maggie.  Journalists repeatedly do hatchet jobs.  People say Morrissey is “sick”.  Anthony H. Wilson realises The Smiths are more popular than New Order.  Tough titties, he didn’t sign The Smiths, did he?  Geoff Travis wonders if Morrissey is depressed.  Johnny and Morrissey like A-ha.  Morrissey sees the American writer James Baldwin in Barcelona and wants to speak with him but dare not.  He misses his one chance: James Baldwin is dead.

Stay tuned for parts seven to fourteen…


About tinynoggin

I love films (anything from exploitation stuff to stylish Eastern European cinema, but I'm not really into blockbusters and modern Hollywood), music (Serge Gainsbourg, Jane Birkin, Michel Polnareff, Left Banke, Francoise Hardy, The Seeds, Love, The Zombies, etc) and books (Kurt Vonnegut, Julian Maclaren-Ross, Michel Houellebecq, Patrick Hamilton, Alan Sillitoe, and more). I take photographs with my Lomography Diana F plus or my Olympus Trip and like making stuff in my spare time.

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